Funny Sarcastic Quotes

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit
It's alright, he's only choking!
Manuel, you're a waste of space
Oh, "him". He's hopeless, isn't he?
Your intelligence always surprise me
Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you
I'm sure your mom is very proud of you
I don't recognize you, I've changed a lot
Sometimes I just be coughing for nothin!
Life was so boring before you came here
He was happily married, but his wife wasn't
I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh
It's woman like her why God made darkness
Don't be alarmed, it's only my wife laughing
It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat
If worse comes to worse, I'll be your boyfriend
You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona
A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed
Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control
I'm not sure what's wrong, but it's probably your fault!
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends
No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television
Oh, German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you
When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well

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