101 Garfield Quotes
I hate Mondays
Down, dumb dog!
Diet is die with a "t"
I stay out of drafts
Are Italians good to eat?
Oh, that was a cheap shot
A little ego goes nowhere
I'll rise, but I won't shine
Oh, you little suck-up!
I'm unraveling your dental floss

Garfield quotes with pictures

It was declared a midnight snack
Einstein's desk was this messy
So much time, so little to do
What am I, a piece of luggage?
When I want in, I want in now!
I am hungry. Therefore I am
Have you used your brain today?
No need for a second opinion
Home is where they understand you
You can't scare me. I have children!
I never met a lasagna I didn't like
Eat every meal as though it were your last
What we have here is a failure to communicate
The most active thing about me is my imagination
Look! I did not come here to be insulted
I'm not over-weight, I'm under-tall
Never send a man to do a cat's job
Love me, feed me, never leave me
That's not a dog! That's a tongue with eyeballs!
I have to go to class. I need some sleep
Have you tasted yourself lately?
Leave me alone, I'm busy wallowing in self pity
Why don't YOU watch where I'm going?
So this is what it feels like to be potato salad
I'm not known for my compassion
I'm not messy, I'm organizationally challenged
The Good, the Bad, and the Hungry
Wait a minute. His last name is "Schnitzel"?
Never leave your food dish under a bird cage
And that's a sign that the tank is full
Hello, what's this? Why it's sausage gravy!
Oh no! I overslept! I'm late ! For my nap
If u want to look thinner, hang around people fatter than u
If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider
If you are patient, and wait long enough, nothing will happen!
His I.Q. is so low you can't test it. You have to dig for it
It's amazing how a nice day can turn into such a bummer
That boy wasn't born. He was found in a fortune cookie
Avoid fruits and nuts: after all, you are what you eat
Good times are ahead! Or behind. Because they sure aren't here
The sooner we make a schedule, the faster we get behind
Yep. When the going gets tough, the great ones party
Sore bottom, a little disorientated, but undeterred!
Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna
What? There's a pumpkin on your head? I hadn't noticed
Anybody can exercise. But this kind of lethargy takes real discipline
I hate mornings. I like em better if they started later
Life would be perfect, if it were one continuous coffee break
Take me to your leader, earthling, or I'll atomize your face
Don't you know insincere sincerity when you hear it?
Well take that stupid pumpkin off your head and I'll tell ya!
Microwave lasagna. Possibly nature's most perfect food
There was a dog that was so ugly, cars used to chase him!
When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean
You know it's Monday when you wake up, and it's Tuesday
Not only are you my owner, but my primary caregiver
Odie's going? Forget it, I'd rather be declawed than go camping
Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath
It's pathetic the way some animals beg at the table. Where is your pride, Odie?
You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering
I'd love to go camping with you, but I have to stay home and pluck my nose hairs
Whoever invented Christmas trees should be dragged out into the street and shot
Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have gas attacks. I have nap attacks
Get yourself lost. Take a powder for a couple days, get a haircut, and grow a beard
I hate diets. They're morally wrong. A stomach is a terrible thing to waste
Good morning sunshine. Welcome to another fun-filled day with your favorite pet
Arrr, I be Orange Beard the Pirate Capn, an this be me first mate Odie the Stupid
I love the smell of Cinnamon Apple in the morning. It smells like victory
My third life was my favorite, my body grew old, but I never, never, never grew up
I'm bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. I'm bored
A masterfully understated observation, especially when you consider it's coming from a total idiot!
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get
Odie, let's talk effort versus return here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around
All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and Sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not
Good morning, Odie, you're not going to live long enough to see your next birthday, you know that don't you?
I learned to think on my feet in my fourth life, thinking was alright I guess, but now I avoid it as much as possible
All right, wise guy, I got another game for ya. It's called the My Claw In Your Butt game. Now let me out!
Have you ever had a day when you feel like you've slept and eaten it all? All the color has gone out of my life
This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony. How depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the top
If we don't get out of here, were gonna be dead. And if that happens, heaven forbid, I'm never gonna speak to you again
The creature that lives in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw!
I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle that took years to perfect!
They're gonna come here, and they're gonna eat me, and I'm gonna die, and that could really hurt my bowling average
Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? If the answer is yes, you're all wrong for lazy week
I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with one quart of Mayonnaise!
What's this, a handle? If that's the way you feel about it, why didn't you just put a stamp on my face, cancel my bottom and mail me to Paradise World?
You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie. But you don't eat my food and you don't sleep in my bed
All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to say: Christmas. It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it. Now get out of here

Garfield sayings and pictures

Odie's so stupid he'd have to stand on a chair to raise his I.Q. He's ugly too. It would take two of him to get any uglier. He's so ugly, he wouldn't have to wear a mask to go trick or treating on Halloween
Halloween is my kind of holiday. It's not like those other stupid holidays. I don't get pine needles in my paws. There's no dumb bunny, no fireworks, no relatives. Just candy. Boom. You go out and you get candy. It's as simple as that
One minute, I'm sitting happily at home minding my own business, next thing I know, I'm traveling third class with a fourth-class owner to a fifth-class motel to sleep with a sixth-class mutt