152 Bart Simpson Quotes
Aye Carumba!
Eat my shorts
I'm a slow reader
Mom, can I go?
Pork is not a verb
Take it easy, buddy
I will not snap bras
What! I like art, okay?
What's your note say?
Those are girl overalls!

Bart Simpson quotes with pictures

You kill em, we grill em!
You punch really good
I will not spank others
I'll buy the white wine
I'm not feeling the rush
Just call me Barf Simpson
Quit going for my groin
So that's why I'm so cool
The principal said potty!
Don't have a cow, man
We ran a subway station?
A burp is not an answer
Cool, I broke his brain!
Whatever happened to "hi"?
Bart no like, bad medicine
Dad, I want a baby brother
I am not my long-lost twin
Who the hell says pota-toe?
Who are Beavis and Butthead?
Oh my god, I want a brother
Right right, you never saw that
That's fine, I'll see what's on TV
Experimenting with my butt
I am not a 32 year old woman
I am not the new Dalai Lama
I did not invent Irish dancing
I need to talk about man stuff
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not instigate revolution
Kiss you? But Dad, I'm your kid!
God Schmod, i want my Monkey man
Hey, Willie, does he taste like failure?
Hi, I'm looking for Amanda. Amanda Hug N Kiss
How did you escape the island of misfit boys?
I already do, it's too close to Christmas
I cannot promise i'll try, but i'll try to try
I don't even remember if Dylan is a boy or girl
I thought we were going to breakfast
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not demand what I'm worth
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not trade pants with others
I'll be the demon. You be the thimble
I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
It's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it
My butt does not deserve a website
No! Not until you raise my allowance
Oh I haven't gotten to that part yet
Only you can make tree poop boring
Ralph, I will play you for that card
Really, does Obama know about this?
Same garbage, different dumpster
Something's missing. Am I broken?
The world may end in 2010, but this show won't
This is exactly why kids need a union
Weird, I just made an entire lose its lunch
Who the hell are Cheech and Chong?
Why not? Are you having red meat?
You don't fight like a girl, or even a Milhouse
You don't play with Lisa, you play despite her
You mean the L-man, D-dawg flame wars?
You never told me how my body works
All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale
And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Jamie's
Can I betray the country I pledge allegiance to every day?
Dad! Lisa's making me see things from both sides again!
Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards
Hi. I'm looking for a man first name hugh last name jass
How is this accidentally when it's the fifth time?
How'd a pull up like you get a great card like that?
I am through with working. Working is for chumps
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything!
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I just have one question about hair, where does mine start?
I see how it is. You get a booty calla and I get a cootie call
I thought teachers only went outside to smoke and cry
I would end all life this planet to get out of doing fractions
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Aye carumba!
Nikki, no! I prefer a dead child to a law suit from your parents
No, he's pretty dumb. He's in all the same special classes I am
Oh my god I think I just met the thing I'm going to die on
Oh my God, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican
Poor Krusty. He's become the lowest form of life, a sidekick
Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God
That's no problem, mom can make garbage taste great
The last place anyone would expect to see a moon, the sky
To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball
Ugh, I don't even want to smell sparkling apple juice again
Well, that's better than me, but still, you gotta get out
Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't
When I grow up, you can buy an apartment building
When you meet them tell them your game is too easy
You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in
Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record
Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?
As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween
Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing
He's an orphan, he's like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows
I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy
Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communion wafers and booze?
No worries, I heard in the old four square court she was doing great
Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun
So we already heard stories from thousands of years ago that didn't happen
Traitor. How dare you betray me on me on the planet that got me laid?
What was that lesson I learned from video games? Oh yeah. Kill, kill, kill!
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks?
Why would anyone want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace!
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa
Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ
Hope you saved room for passion fruit suflee cremon glaze for two, and one for mom
I didn't get anybody pregnant. I didn't Facebook a kid to death. Make with my dirt bike!
If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible
I'm a Simpson, and a Simpson never gets up unless he's tried at least one easy thing
Mrs K, you have to get out of here. When was the last time you washed your hair?
Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that
Stop dragging me! When i get older I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes
Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad
You like to shimmy? I like to shimmy. Where do you see yourself in twenty years?
All I have left of the tree is that lemon shaped rock. Wait a minute, there's a lemon behind that rock!
Book stores don't have answers, the just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of aisle ways
I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
It's one of those unsolved mysteries, like how do my clothes get cleaned and get back in my dresser?
Principal Skinner? This is bogus man, you know the rules: two letter and a conference before I get a home visit
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it
You rebel scum make me sick. This is sweet justice for how you graybacks treated our boys at Andersonville
But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got
Explosives? Great! If we put charges on the load bearing walls, we can blow up detention hall, leaving art class okay
There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson
What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them, as is my understanding
Why am I running from a girl? Hey call me when you're old enough for a Bat Mitzvah and I'll send you an envelope full of nothing
Dad, thanks to TV, I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago. No, really, it's a serious problem. Ha, ha, ha! What're we laughing about?
Why are great things always ruined by women: the army, Fantastic Four, think how awesome would American Idol be if it was just Simon and Randy?
I can't stand to see you so upset, Lis, unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress. Hmm, that gives me an idea note for later: put rubber spider down Lisa's dress
Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down what other people say just like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?

Bart Simpson sayings and pictures

What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
You know, I've done a lot of bad stuff through the years. I guess now I'm paying the price. But there's so many things I'll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette, use a fake ID, shave a swear word in my hair
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures